Cincinnati Widows

We are an unofficial group of widow(er)s who have become friends and meet a few times a year to socialize together, whether the surroundings are food, brew, or both.

Our roots are at the Hospice / Grief Center at Blue Ash, where the wonderful folks there provided us with sanctuary to speak and listen and be with people who get what it is like to have lost a spouse. The group sanctuary there has long since disappeared, but we are still here.

This "club," for lack of a better word, allows us to be surrounded more often with people who understand what it's like, when the rest of the world doesn't.

FAQ (read this first) COVID Policy Come join us!

Other Items... See places we have met!

Back to Main Site

These questions have been or may be asked.

Q: Why is the group here?

A: VERY IMPORTANT: This is a periodic dinner group, not an actual support group. The scheduling is not regular. If you are having a difficult time with your grief and you need someone to talk to right now, contact a healthcare professional or call 911.

Q: Who runs this web site?

A: My name is Tommy and I was widowed in May 2012. I run this site at my own expense. There is no warranty expressed or implied.

Q: Why is the mailing list called "Tuesdaynight" when we don't meet much on Tuesdays?

A: The group started around 2012, and most of the people had been to the Goldstein Family Grief Center's excellent support group for young widows. That group was on Tuesday nights. The reason the social group does NOT usually choose that is to not interfere with that. For a few years now, the group has met on Thursdays, because those are the most likely nights that are free for most people.

Q: Do our names get out on the internet?

A: No. We communicate through an email list and it never leaves your Outlook / Yahoo / Gmail / Hotmail / AOL / Whatever.

Q: Is this a "Meetup.Com" group?

A: This is a completely private and independent group, and is not associated with "meetup.com" or any other web site. Not just anyone can join, and all members are verified before being allowed in.

Q: Is attendance required?

A: Anyone on the list who hasn't attended in one year is removed, in order to keep the list size manageable. Anyone who RSVPs yes and fails to show up is a no-show, and three no-shows per person is the limit.

Q: Is there a fee?

A: There are no dues or fees. Everyone pays for their own dinner / drinks, obviously.

Q: What church runs this group?

A: This group is unaffiliated with any other group. We get some referrals from friendly sources. If you're specifically looking for a religious style grief support organization, see your favorite clergy who will know where you can get help.

Q: Who may join?

A: Any widow, widower, or person may join that has lost a spouse, fiancé, fiancée, or significant other. We are LGBTQIA friendly.

Q: I hate restaurants. Can we do a "pot luck" instead?

A: We only meet in public places so that anyone who is uncomfortable may leave at will. We do not meet in each others' homes. This does not prevent some members agreeing to meet in each others' homes outside of the group, obviously.

Q: Where do we go?

A: Local area restaurants. I prefer supporting locally owned entities such as the little mom and pop establishments, preferably a place that will take reservations, and has decent parking. Here is a list of where we've been so far.

Q: Are you counselors?

A: No. We are other widow(er)s, and that is it. Those who need counseling need to seek a professional.

Q: What about HIPAA?

A: Despite some people on the internet asserting otherwise, HIPAA only applies to healthcare providers and insurers. We are none of those, so HIPAA does not apply. That said, this is a private email list server administered only by one person. The list is not given out or sold to anyone.

Q: Does Hospice sponsor you?

A: We are completely unaffiliated with any ouside group, period. However, most of the members of the group met at the Goldstein Family Grief Center in Blue Ash, and love them. However, any official position of this unofficial and unincorporated group does not exist, and the opinion of each individual member of the group is solely theirs. Anyone stating that the group has a position on any issue is incorrect.

Q: May I rant about my/your religion, politics, or conspiracy theories?

A: This group is a place for caring for one another. Politics and religion can be divisive mechanisms. If you have a lecture prepared, please leave it at home. If you have a conspiracy theory, please leave that at home as well.

Q: What about other bereaved people?

A: This group is limited to people who have lost their spouse , fiancee or significant other.

Q: I need a sponsor. Who will be my sponsor?

A: This is not that sort of group. This is a group of widow(er)s who go out to socialize. If you need that sort of help, please ask a licensed and qualified professional.

Q: I'm trolling for babes / dudes. Is that cool?

A: No. One complaint as such about a member making another member feel uncomfortable, and they're out, period, with zero tolerance. Zero tolerance means one strike and you're out, no appeal, no warning, and no negotiating. If someone in the group makes you feel uncomfortable, please notify me directly. Don't post a complaint to the list, because like all the messages, everyone will see it. Address a new email (don't use "Reply") to: ... be sure to double check your spelling in the To: field.

Q: Someone on the list is being creepy!

A: Report the person directly to me. Don't post the complaint to the list or everyone will see it. We don't knowingly allow creeps. Address a new email (don't use "Reply") to:

Q: Hey! I have a great business opportunity for everyone!

A: No, thank you. No MLM or business "opportunities" are welcome here. This is a place for people to heal.

Q: Hey! I have a really cool product that you need!

A: No, thank you. This isn't a place to hawk wares. This is a place for people to heal.

Q: When do we meet?

A: We meet a few times a year. Planning things is actually a lot of work! Some months we meet on weeknights, and some months we will meet on Saturday or Sunday, so that everyone will have a chance to attend something.

Q: Are some meetings "restricted?"

A: In some venues, they cannot take a large reservation. We may decide to do a "first come, first served" limited to the number of seats we can get. However, we first try to make it such that this is not necessary.

Q: I want to sign up anonymously or use my pseudonym. Is that cool?

A: No. Only real people are in this group. Anyone later discovered to have used false information to get into the group are deleted immediately, no questions asked. Sign-ups that I cannot validate are not added to the group, and you get no warning. Honesty and complete information is required.

Q: I hear talk of the "other" group or the "2012" or the "founders" group. Can I join that, too?

A: This web site is the home to the real Cincinnati Widows group.

Q: I have this fabulous deck! Can we have a meet at my house?

A: Because some members may not feel comfortable in a non-public setting, I don't consider it appropriate. All our gatherings are in public places where any member may leave as they please.

Q: I'm having horrible grief! How can people at the gathering be having a good time?

A: Everyone grieves differently and we are all in a different space at any given time. It's a socialization group, and the conversation just goes wherever it does. At some gatherings, hardly a word is spoken about grief or bereavement. At others, it's the majority of what folks are talking about. Believe me, everyone there gets it and we all wear similar shoes. People like being with those they feel safe with, and when grieving, one often feels like "outsiders" just don't "get it." This is how people can have a good time while still going through grief.

Q: Do I have to sign a contract?

A: There is no contract, since no consideration or money is given in exchange for membership. The group maintainer reserves the right to remove members from the email list as is applicable and appropriate to maintain the safety of all those in the list.

Q: Is there any RSVP "policy" for get-togethers?

A: 1: If you're attending, please send a "Yes" RSVP. If you're not attending, don't RSVP at all. This makes it easier to administer the RSVPs for the restaurants. When counting how many seats to reserve at the venue, only "YES" RSVPs are counted.
2: "Maybe" RSVPs count as "No."
3: When RSVPing, please include your name and to which gathering (if several are pending) you are referring. The email list software can truncate the "From" headers, so putting your name in the email helps.
4: If you RSVP "yes" to a meet and don't show, that's considered one no-show. Three in a row and you're removed.
PLEASE DO NOT use "Reply All." If your email software shows "Reply to List" then use that, or just use regular Reply. Your reply list should be to: with the group in the "to" field. That should read "tuesdaynight@lists.cincinnatiwidows.org" and there should be no CC or BCC in your composed message.

Q: I want to organize one at my favorite places!

A: Sure! Remember that this is a bit of work. You'll have to help negotiate the seating at the place. Thanks!

Q: Hey! I'm gunna be late!

A: We usually order at about ten or quarter past. If you show up and get seated by the time it's done, it doesn't get counted as a no-show, but you might go hungry. It's up to the restaurant as to whether or not you'll be served if it's at the end.

Q: Can I bring a widow(er) that I know with me to a dinner?

A: Yes, but we are keeping the group to widows and widowers only, please. This is not an attempt, however, to minimize other types of grief. The same rule applies to your guest as to all other members of the group.

Q: Is it OK if I email people in the group to invite them over or out to a small get together outside the group?

A: I don't see why not. However, "official" group get-togethers that the group arranges will always be in a public place.

Q: Can I leave the group and come back?

A: Generally, if someone asks to leave, then that's it. This is to make management easier.

Back to Main Site

Back to Main Site Back to FAQ

10 Things Never to Say to a Sad, Grieving, or Depressed Person (2014-03-10)
10 Things Not to Say to a New Widow (2014-03-10)

Back to Main Site

COVID Policy

The purpose of the Cincinnati Widows group is so people who understand the grief of losing a significant other can get together. It is most certainly a "safe space" and is meant to be exactly that. The only starting membership requirement is that one be a widow, widower, or someone whose significant other has passed.

As a group whose purpose it to care for each other, we should take steps to care for one another before and when meeting. We do not mandate masks or vaccines, but do recommend people follow the common sense guidelines from their board certified doctor.

As well, the answer to any of these questions is "yes" then please skip the gathering, regardless of your RSVP.

* Fever or chills?
* Coughing?
* Shortness of breath?
* Muscle or body aches?
* Recent loss of taste or smell?
* Sore throat?
* Nausea or diarrhea?
* Tested positive in the last ten days?
* Diagnosed positive in the last ten days?
* Exposed to someone infected in the last two weeks?

On the subject of COVID, conspiracy theories are covered under the FAQ question regarding religion and politics. Please read the FAQ for those.

Cincinnati Widows is NOT a healthcare provider, it is a dinner group whose attendees share a common experience. If you are having a very difficult time with your grief, or if you are considering harming yourself or others, or both, contact a healthcare professional or call 911.
Back to Main Site

FIRST THINGS FIRST: This is a periodic dinner group. We are not any sort of health care organization. Please call a professional or 911 if you feel you are in dire straits or could bring harm to yourself or others.

Before you sign up, I will explain how it all works... It's really quite easy!

All entries are checked by hand before they get added to the group, with no automation. No "AI" or "GPT" is used. Entries that appear frivolous will not be added. Entries that attempt to hide who one is, are not added.

Emails from the group are only sent out when a group member addresses and sends an email to tuesdaynight@lists.cincinnatiwidows.org

If you want to send a message to everyone in the group, for example, to suggest a place to meet for a brew or coffee, or you need an understanding shoulder, address an email from the address you signed up with to tuesdaynight@lists.cincinnatiwidows.org, and everyone in the group will get it.

It's that simple!

When you receive the welcome message in your email from tuesdaynight@lists.cincinnatiwidows.org, you are then a member and can converse with the whole group using that address.

If you want to converse privately with another member, get their individual email address and send to that instead. All emails to tuesdaynight@lists.cincinnatiwidows.org are seen by the entire group.

You have to wait til you get the welcome message in order to be able to send to the group.

If you spam the group with any sort of advertising, product recommendations, etc. you will be removed without warning.

Yes, sign me up! I'll pass. Maybe later.

All information is kept strictly private. Your information is not given to anyone outside the group.

This group is not affiliated with any outside organization.

Entries with red asterisks are required.

Specifically, from whom did you learn about this group?*
(e.g. Cindy at XYZ organization)
If internet, what search terms did you use? Please be specific. Overly vague answers here may get your application rejected.

Including the area code, your phone number?
(used in case a meet falls through at the last minute) *

What is the name of the person who passed?
(e.g. Aloysius, Bertha)

Email*

Name *

I have read the entire FAQ and understand it fully.* I have read the entire COVID Policy and understand it fully.* I fully understand that grief can be serious and that this group does not take the place of healthcare professionals or 911.*